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Mary passed away on Wednesday after a long battle with cancer. She was a fighter and led normal life. I shouldn't say normal I should say hard. She wasn't on to share much about her life. I had known her for six months before she revealed to me that she had cancer. I learned about her after she died from family she denied. She was an orphan from Ireland who came here after losing her mom to cancer. She was adopted and lived most if her life in New Jersey. She married and had a rough divorce. She had a son who was developmentally disabled. After the divorce she was destitute as her husband went bankrupt. She ended up in a shelter and after gaining some skills worked in the Palm Springs area. It was then she discovered she had cancer. She sought help but after being told what needed to be done she decided to just live with it. She had no insurance and no support so she continued working keeping it a secret. I met her in Anza. She was a feisty white haired lady who was always good for a joke. We became friends. She had just recently gotten a lawyer who helped her sue and win a share of her former husband's pension. That was her income.
When she revealed her cancer to me I was shocked but at the same time I told her that I wasn't going to run away. I was there for the whole journey. We became closer. It started getting difficult after she developed respiratory problems. Her energy levels fell off as she struggled to do simple thing. I was worried and stayed close. We made adjustments and I did more to make her comfortable. Finally it was getting critical so on a Sunday morning I drove her to the emergency room. Within minutes they did a diagnosis and she told them to share it with me. The cancer was everywhere. She had only 6 months on the outside but unless there was a dramatic improvement she may have only days. This started the long goodbye. I was at her bedside constantly. She insisted she had no family but I had some clues that family would be found. The last I heard from her was when she called on Tuesday night saying they were going to move her to hospice on Wednesday. She said they were going to allow her to stop by her place one last time and she wanted me there.
I got a call at 4 a.m. from the nurse asking me to come in. He said she was critical and maybe I should be there in case she woke up. I drove to the hospital and spent the next 6 hours saying goodbye praying a lot and holding her hand. I finally left knowing the end was very near. I returned to her place to feed the cats. I told her neighbors who rushed to say their last repects. She died at 15:50 of respiratory failure. Her battle was over. I returned to the hospital to make sure everything was properly taken care of. I left there after dark and a tear filled drive home. I'm still going through the process of grief. I've learned a lot more about her son. I also learned she had a brother who was adopted to South Dakota. Her son and ex husband live in sSouthern California. I'm now out of the picture and left the rest to the remaining family namely the son and his aunt who are for him. I have the memories to keep.
I will never forget you Mary. You were taken too soon but that was better because you died peacefully without pain. You are in a better place. I'll see you again one day.
When she revealed her cancer to me I was shocked but at the same time I told her that I wasn't going to run away. I was there for the whole journey. We became closer. It started getting difficult after she developed respiratory problems. Her energy levels fell off as she struggled to do simple thing. I was worried and stayed close. We made adjustments and I did more to make her comfortable. Finally it was getting critical so on a Sunday morning I drove her to the emergency room. Within minutes they did a diagnosis and she told them to share it with me. The cancer was everywhere. She had only 6 months on the outside but unless there was a dramatic improvement she may have only days. This started the long goodbye. I was at her bedside constantly. She insisted she had no family but I had some clues that family would be found. The last I heard from her was when she called on Tuesday night saying they were going to move her to hospice on Wednesday. She said they were going to allow her to stop by her place one last time and she wanted me there.
I got a call at 4 a.m. from the nurse asking me to come in. He said she was critical and maybe I should be there in case she woke up. I drove to the hospital and spent the next 6 hours saying goodbye praying a lot and holding her hand. I finally left knowing the end was very near. I returned to her place to feed the cats. I told her neighbors who rushed to say their last repects. She died at 15:50 of respiratory failure. Her battle was over. I returned to the hospital to make sure everything was properly taken care of. I left there after dark and a tear filled drive home. I'm still going through the process of grief. I've learned a lot more about her son. I also learned she had a brother who was adopted to South Dakota. Her son and ex husband live in sSouthern California. I'm now out of the picture and left the rest to the remaining family namely the son and his aunt who are for him. I have the memories to keep.
I will never forget you Mary. You were taken too soon but that was better because you died peacefully without pain. You are in a better place. I'll see you again one day.
