curmugeon | Sunday...

Irrational fears seem to haunt life nowadays. Mom fears the weather and being alone, so much so she gets upset at any talk of snow. She says she doesn't fear death, yet what I see is a person so afraid of dying alone.

I need to run some more tests at the doctor's office. It seems that some of my chemistries were not right. My sugar was high (he talked about pre-diabetic possibilities) and my white blood cell count was elevated (he hopes it is only an infection).

I'm working on making my life more manageable in retirement. I'm thinning down my possessions, I don't need two cars, I don't want to pay the insurance. I'm still exploring health care options, as what I'd have to pay through COBRA is outrageous. It's one thing to be poor, but not poor enough to not fall through the cracks. (What I consider poor a lot of people would love to be getting, in some respects I'm feeling sorry for myself).

I'm thinking of changing car insurance companies next week. I cannot stay with 21st Century after all the shit that their parent company AIG has done. I'll pay a bit more, but I cannot stand the attitude of the management with regards to responsibility in light of the bailouts.

I'm working on 'mom care' during the time I go for surgery. I'm also working on my care during recovery. I think a little time away from mom will make the recovery shorter, and I'll have to find a refuge. I'll probably take a week in a motel in Orange County so as to be close to doctors and to find solitude.

Let's see what Monday brings...